


The Gods Cried Out

by CrimesOfADeadpool



Series: Does Your Heart Beat? [5]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bullying, Fluff, High School AU, M/M, Oneshot, saved from bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 17:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3905350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimesOfADeadpool/pseuds/CrimesOfADeadpool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter gets bullied. Wade comes to the rescue... uh... sort of...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gods Cried Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DragonWolfe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonWolfe/gifts).



> So this is my twentieth AO3-posted SpideyPool. Do I get crowned king yet? 
> 
> DragonWolfe said “I don't know if Flash is in this AU, but if he is, it'd be cool to see Wade stand up for Peter, however he'd do that.” 
> 
> Ahahaha this prompt, omg, no, I’m so sorry everyone.  
> Also, I've never even been in a home ec room so...yeah...  
> (and whoops for a second there I named this something random cos I forgot about the Klingon Vows naming thing, whoops)
> 
> I panicked a bit with this. Cos like... I've been reading GoTG and Thunderbolts and Flash is like Agent Venom now and like I was worried about taking his character back to the two-dimensional bully thing, like I might accidentally go "BUT IT WAS OKAY COS FLASH IS TOTALLY AWESOME NOW YOU KNOW HE LOST HIS LEGS AND GOT AN ALIEN SYMBIOTE AND HANGS OUT WITH THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY OMG" but then again, my idea is so freaking awesome for this story, and I figure that if I do put Flash in, I might be able to expand on his character later, like they did in TASM (even though that movie sucked), so yeah. Enjoy.

“So class,” the Home Economics substitute teacher droned. “Today we’ll be making salad.”  
“What kind of salad?” Wade asked.  
“Hands up to speak.”  
Wade put up his hand. “What kind of salad?”  
The teacher gave him a look. It was clear she didn’t want to be here. Why else choose something like _salad_ to be their chore for the day. It wasn’t as if much energy went into it. Unless it was something fancy, but judging from the teacher’s face, it wasn’t going to be. “That’s up to you to decide,” she said in a measured voice. She pointed to the assorted vegetables and fruits on the bench. “Choose wisely.” She tapped on the counter. “Collect your food and knives, cut them up, put them in the plastic food containers, mix the food up. The end.” She looked at the class. “Any questions?”  
Wade put up his hand. “What happened to the wall?”  
“What wall?” The teacher was glaring at him.  
Wade pointed to the side. “This used to be like three different classrooms, that’s why there’s so much empty room. What happened to it?”  
“How should I know?”  
Wade shrugged. “You asked if I had any questions.”  
Peter nudged him in the ribs. Wade gave him an innocent look.  
The teacher ran a hand through her hair. “Just start.”  
There was a silence as the students began grabbing their food and knives from the counter at the head of the room.  
Peter returned to the desk he shared with Wade, Tony and Steve and gave Wade a look.  
“Wade, you know the food’s supposed to be shared with everyone.”  
Wade grinned. “I’m a growing boy.”  
Tony gave him a look. “I think Peter and I need more growing than you.”  
Steve shrugged. “It takes energy to keep up these muscles.”  
“That was so lame,” Tony said.  
“He’s right, you know,” Wade told Peter, as he spread out the food. “You’re so scrawny I’m surprised you need to eat anything.”  
Peter scowled at him.  
“Don’t worry, you can have some of my salad,” Wade promised as he grabbed a tomato and began cutting.  
“Arghh.” Tony hissed as he clipped himself with the knife.  
Steve sighed at him. “Remind me why you’re taking this class.”  
“ _Because_ I can’t leave you here by yourself. You’ll meet some cute cook and go on and buy a homely house and two-point-five children. _Or even worse_ people will realise you can cook and then _everyone_ will want you. I can barely compete with three-fourths of the school, what’ll I do when that last quarter comes after you?”  
Steve sighed again and took the carrot Tony was attempting to chop and did it just as deftly as Wade was cutting the tomato.  
“It’s so unfair that all my friends are so good at cooking. I feel that’s statistically impossible. How can all three of you fit the gay-boyfriend-stereotype?”  
Peter raised an eyebrow. “I don’t-”  
“Cute, blushy gay.” Tony cut in. He pointed at Wade. “Eccentric gay.” Steve. “Sporty gay.”  
Peter raised an eyebrow. “I think you’re mixing stereotypes.”  
“Hybrid stereotypes are what I live for.”  
“I thought that was science,” Wade chimed in as he tossed the tomato into his food container.  
“Stereotypes fall into the science stereotypes.” Tony waved his uninjured hand.  
Steve scoffed. “You just want us to do the work.”  
“Please and thank you baby.”  
Steve rolled his eyes.  
  
“After you’re done, return the knives and leftovers to the front of the room.”  
The few straggling students hurriedly did as they were told. The substitute quickly counted the knives and shrugged. “Okay, free time,” she declared. “You have thirty minutes left, just don’t leave the room.” And with that, she strode out.  
“The bar for substitutes are really low these days,” Tony commented.  
“She’s probably just having a bad day,” Steve replied.  
“Bad life,” Tony muttered.  
Wade kissed Peter’s cheek. “Bathroom break,” he whispered before crossing and exiting the room.  
“Well, he’s uh.. improved,” Tony threw out there as he watched Wade leave.  
Steve gave him a look. “Yeah, he only hassled the teacher for ten minutes today.”  
“Teacher was an idiot anyway, right Peter?”  
Peter grinned. “Glad to see you’re getting along.”  
Tony shrugged. “Anything for you Petey.”  
Peter cast a glance to the back of the room, where all the bags were kept. “I’m going to get out my science homework then, if we’ve got spare time.”  
“Nerd,” Tony said affectionately. “After my own heart.”  
“Well, I’ll just leave you two then,” Steve said in a mock-hurt tone.  
“Baby, you know you’re the only one for me.” Tony kissed him.  
Peter rolled his eyes and strolled to the opposite side of the room. And people said he and Wade were sappy.  
He groaned as he reached his bag. Some idiot had placed his bag on top of Peter’s, completely ignoring the excessive free space. Peter ducked down and pushed the bag off.  
“Hey!” said an unfortunately familiar voice.  
Peter’s stomach rolled and he stood up. “Hello Flash.”  
Flash folded his arms. “That was my bag.”  
Peter pointed to his. “And that one’s mine.”  
Flash glared at Peter. Peter chucked a desperate look at Steve and Tony, but they were involved in their own discussion on the opposite side of the room, which, as Wade had pointed out, was three classrooms over.  
“Well?”  
“What?”  
“Are you gonna apologise for dumping my bag?”  
“Well, you know what they say about apologies-”  
“Those who don’t give them get beat?”  
“Haven’t heard that one.”  
Flash stepped forward.  
From the corner of Peter’s eyes, a blur shot past him and landed square in Flash’s chest.  
Salad.  
“Food fight!” Wade shouted happily.  
There was a silence and everyone stared at Wade.  
Wade was unfazed, continuing to grin.  
On the other side of the room, Tony and Steve swapped looks, quickly figuring out what was going on. Steve sighed silently. He had been looking forward to his salad.  
But Peter was more important.  
With a flick of his hand, Steve threw his salad at Wade’s face.  
There was another pause, shorter lived. Steve was much better at leading a crowd than Wade, and soon the room was full of flying pieces of tomato, lettuce and onion.  
Wade quickly ducked forward and pulled Peter out of the room.  
  
“Are you _crazy?”_ Peter asked, finally stopping their fleeing in a corridor a few turns away.  
“Crazy is subjective, baby.”  
“You just threw food. _At Flash_. That’s crazy.”  
“I think of it more as…” Wade waved his hand. “Romantic.”  
“ _Romantic?”_  
Wade pouted. “Knight in shining armour stuff.”  
Peter leant against the wall and picked some food out of his hair. “Oh my god. You actually are crazy. We’re going to get in so much trouble.”  
“Flash started it,” Wade pointed out. “I’d like to see him try to explain _why_ I did what I did.”  
“ _Because you’re crazy.”_  
“Not exactly a reason why everyone else would join it though, right?” Wade slid next to him. “Are you really angry?”  
Peter took another breath and sighed. “No.”  
Wade grinned. “Good.” He leant in. “Cos we have like twenty minutes free and this hallway’s pretty empty.”  
“What about-”  
“We can say we left cos everyone was acting so immature. Throwing food. Who does that?”  
Peter rolled his eyes, but moved in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case people were wondering, Peter and Wade spend the next twenty minutes making out. Strictly PG guys~
> 
> I expect like a thousand comments talking about how brilliant and funny I am.  
> ...  
> Do people even have food fights anymore? Was that ever actually a thing? Or just some Hollywood fantasy? 
> 
> Anyway, as always, this series is prompt based, so if you have a prompt, please comment or message me on [tumblr.](crimesofadeadpool.tumblr.com)


End file.
